June 2011
24 posts
Ugh ..
It’s only been six days and it feels like forever …. and its been over two weeks since I’ve even laid eyes on him. I miss him. I miss him a lot. But why do I feel like its a crime to? Smh, I feel like I’m gonna relapse. But I also feel like that was the last straw. He’s not gonna take me back ….. I’ve done this “I think I wanna be done with...
Is this it?
Dont you know how you hear those stories where a couple has all these problems, then they both go their seperate ways and get into another relationship .. and somehow find their way back to each other in the end? I wonder if that’ll be us. We kinda did that before .. but he made a wrong turn and fucked things up -__- Im just really impatient though. Like people say “ohh, maybe...
Abunchofnothing.
My mind is really blank right now. I dont know. I feel like I made the right decision .. but at the same time, Im not sure. I was talking to Joy today about a bunch of things. Basically, if he cares enough and he really wants this, then he WILL be back around. Period. He knows how to contact me and he knows how to get my attention. As much as I think I want to, I cant give in. I have to show that...
You cant seperate your body from your emotions.
As Harmoni put it, Im gonna de-Travis my life for awhile. It’ll take some training, but I’ll be fine =)
First step.
I feel like I need to delete him from my Facebook and unfollow him on Twitter. I need some closer and by having access to those pages is NOT helping me. Im just gonna constantly check .. I cant help it. Its like Im looking for something to upset me .. and any little thing WILL definitely upset me. So I need to just do myself a favor. But if I do that, he’ll be like “So thats how we...
Who in the fuckery is odd future? lol
050109
I feel like I have a lot to say, but nothing to say.. Im not ready for it. I already know how the conversation is gonna go.. and he’s gonna leave this feeling like he did absolutely NOTHING wrong. When someone askes him what happened, his explanation will go a little like “She’s childish .. immature .. doesnt think before she acts .. I cant trust her .. she met this new guy that...
Its like he couldnt wait to hear me say “Yes, I feel threatened by her”. And he finds it hilarious how we both had the strategy of manipulating each other to get closer to him. He’s an asshole. He’s really an asshole. When I say Im ready to be done with him, I dont think Ive ever been so serious before. We’ve had our laughs .. but the attitudes, cries and frowns...
I really wanna talk to him .. but I have no clue what to say or how to say it. I just wanna lay here in silence and breathe, knowing that he’s still on the line .. and cares enough to not hang up or complain about me not talking.
My purpose is to make you happy. When it gets to...
I found another one ..... 06/17/09
I Hate How As I Tossed &+ Turned Last Night, The Only Thing On My Mind Was You. I Hate How When I Woke Up This Morning, I Laid There Staring At My Ceiling, &+ Still, The Only Thing On My Mind Was You. I Hate How I’m Sitting Here Thinking Of What To Write Next, &+ The Only Thing I Can Find Is Visions Of Our Stairwell Scenes. I Hate How I Asked You In Advance If You Thought The...
The more dramatic you get, the more you push him...
Wow, this is what I found .... from 6/26/09
Its The Summertime. Boyfriend Is A Word I Try Scrunch My Face To &+ Say “Where Dey Do Dat At ? Its The Summertime!”. Even Though I Think I Miss My “Ex” &+ Wonders If He Thinks Of Me &+ How He Feels Abou This “Break”. He Actually Seems Pretty Happy ; He Got His One Love, One Focus: Football. I Would Hate To Be A Distraction, Right ? All I Want Right Now Is To Feel Him...
Im so afraid to let go. I swear this is gonna hurt me more than it hurts him. Im sure I’ll get over it, but its a process that Im not ready for ….
:)
I knew Jaylyn would say something lol. I think I need to come back to my bby Tumblr. Im so tired of people on Twitter telling me to stfu when I get in my feelings. I need somewhere to vent.
Ive abandoned my Tumblr for about a year.
i feel like i have the potential to be the BEST girlfriend anyone has ever had. im one of those ride or die types .. i stick around through HELL. through the situations where everyone looks at you and just calls you stupid over and over … yeah i stick around through those. but at this pointn i feel like wekve been through so much shit that he doesnt realize how good of a thing he has next to...